


The Slow Route

by godcomplexfics (godtiercomplex)



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Background Relationships, Background Slash, Gen, Slow Build, mentions of haise/shuu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9712727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godtiercomplex/pseuds/godcomplexfics
Summary: Touka’s taking the slow route through life.(Reposted due to Ao3 mishaps)





	

 

When she’s ten, Touka steals for the first time. It gives her adrenaline rush in the worst way, and makes her feel better than she’s felt in months. Her father isn’t a bad man, but he’s not at home more often than not. She steals bread because she and Ayato might die waiting for Arata to get back from his latest scheme to get them rich quick. His ideas never work out. So, she steals because she has to, and soon enough she grows cocky about it.

She takes to stealing more things, more food, more clothes, more everything until she has the life she’s always wanted. A full fridge, and fresh clothes, and the sense of safety. When her father finally returns home, he doesn’t ask questions really, just makes sure they’ve gone to school.

“Education is important,” Arata says. He’s a high school dropout, and so Touka knows he wants better for them. She doesn’t care. Neither does Ayato.

She’s living in the fast lane, going straight to her downfall and she doesn’t fucking care.

 

xxx

 

She gets caught a few times, but that doesn’t matter to her. She gets into a reasonable middle school and that doesn’t matter either. People mean so little to her, and she has no time for them. She does what she has to in order to protect her world--and her world is made up of two, sometimes three, people. (Arata falls in and out of her favor constantly.)

She teaches herself to pick pockets, taking only the cash and mailing the wallets back. She’s not stupid, just desparate.

She’s thirteen when she tries to pickpocket this old man, and before she knows it he has her in some judo hold. When he lets her up, she tries to make a run for it. He grabs her arm and refuses to let go. It’s embarrassing, and she can’t help but start faking tears trying to get him to leave her alone. He doesn’t give. He takes her to a cafe called Anteikou and introduces himself as Yoshimura. He tells her that he won’t report her to the police, but only if she considers coming to work for him. He tells her a sum per hour that he’s willing to give her with a promise of increasing it in the future. She takes the job. She starts slowing down in life, just a bit.

 

xxx

 

“Ah, Kirishima-chan, are you leaving again? We have to clean up today!” The small girl in front of her one of her classmates. Touka doesn’t fucking know her name, and doesn’t care to know it. But her face is familiar in an odd way.

“I have work,” Touka says.

“Oh? Alright then, I guess I can clean by myself, but work? At our age?” Touka sighs, and tones out her rambles as she glances at the board. On it says _Cleaning Duty: Kosaka and Kirishima_.

“Sorry about this, Kosaka-san, but my boss is--”

“Oh! You do know my name,” Kosaka smiles, and claps her hands together, grinning wide.

“Well, I guess I do.”

“Where do you work, Kirishima-chan?”

Touka reluctantly tells her. “But they’re not hiring,” she says. _Not people like you anyway._ Anteikou was full of people like Touka, those whom Yoshimura had rescued. Its regulars were people like that too. From Nishio to Yomo, they were all people who had been influenced by the good vibe at Anteikou to change for the better.

“Would it be okay if I stopped by there sometime?” Kosaka asks, and she’s blushing slightly.

“Um, if you want. I’m going to go now before I’m late.” Touka shakes the whole weird encounter out of her head and heads into work.

She has no way of knowing that that conversation marks a turning point in her life. She has no way of knowing the sheer impact one simple exchange will have on her life.

 

xxx

 

She makes Ayato go to school like she makes herself go to school so they can have a better life than they had before. Kosaka settles into the seat abandoned by the person that sits next to Touka and says:

“You’ve been coming to school a lot more, Kirishima-chan!”

Touka shrugs and eats her store bought bread.

Kosaka tsks, and then offers Touka some of her lunch. “I made way too much, please help yourself.”

So Touka does, and Kosaka starts talking about herself. Touka does not care, so tunes her out until lunch is over. She does thank her for the meal.

“It was . . . good.”

“I’m glad,” And there’s Kosaka’s blush again.

 

xxx

 

It takes her a long time to realize that Kosaka is befriending her, courting her attention regardless of how little of her time Touka gives her. She starts to be nicer to the girl, and even visits her house, and gets asked for the first time if someone other than a family member can call her Touka.

She blushes this time, and says “Yes.”

She slows down further, takes the slow way to learning Kosaka Yuriko, and soon enough finds herself with a best friend for the rest of her life.

 

xxx

 

She’s content with her life until 2002 when Sasaki Haise comes into the cafe for the first time. He accepts his coffee, and calls her beautiful in between giving her the payment for it. He’s eighteen and going to the university up the street. In all her sixteen years she’s never been called beautiful before. It’s not a word she’s associated with herself before.

When she tells Yoriko, she frowns, and says, “But you are beautiful. Unlike me, I’m just plain.”

She considers lying to Yoriko, but instead shrugs. “You’re pretty in your own way.”

“Thanks, Touka,” Yoriko smiles, and she doesn’t stop being plain, but she is prettier.

 

xxx

 

Ayato meets Sasaki one day when he is chatting with Touka and decides he doesn’t like him.

“Why not?” she asks at their apartment that night as she cooks a recipe that Yoriko urged on her.

“He’s trouble,” Ayato says, and Touka’s about to press him on that, but he continues. “Also, does this look legit?”

Touka stops chopping up leeks, and examines the card that has Aogiri Tree Inc. in sleek writing, and frowns, “The hell is this?”

“An agent.”

“An agent?”

“He said I could be a model.”

“Yoshimura offered you a job, you know,” Touka can’t help but point out. Ayato barely goes to school, and he comes home covered in bruises more often than not. He’s on the same path she was on, and she wants to save him. He’s her baby brother after all.

“I think it seems legit,” he decides. “I’ll give Tatara a call.”

Touka sighs, and finishes cooking dinner.

 

xxx

 

Touka starts to realize what Ayato meant when Sasaki shows up with a small girl in tow he calls his and who calls him ‘Maman’. She gets nicknamed ‘Kirikiri’ and she doesn’t understand why--but she does know one thing.

“You really shouldn’t be ordering her coffee, Sasaki.”

“But she loves it,” he says, and he’s the picture of a doting father. It’s gross. It’s concerning. It’s a lot of things.

But then one day, Saiko comes in alone, and she’s not as animated as usual. And that’s when Touka realizes as she makes her a coffee, that there’s something about Sasaki that’s changing Saiko. Making her stronger even.

Touka watches the short underdeveloped child drinking coffee by herself at the window, waiting on Sasaki, and wonders about that.

 

xxx

 

“You know,” Yoriko says, “I’ve never met Sasaki-san before. And I’ve met all the regulars.”

Touka’s thankful for that. She’s not sure if she wants these two parts of her life to ever meet. Yoriko is Yoriko, and Sasaki is Sasaki. Them meeting can only spell trouble.

“You don’t need to meet Sasaki,” she settles on saying, “He’s no one important.”

 

xxx

 

She realizes that she lied to Yoriko when Hinami shows up, and Sasaki introduces her as his very dear kohai. Sasaki is important. Much more important than Touka realized. She likes him, in a romantic sense. She hates herself for that.

She wants to hate Hinami. She’s perfect. She’s never stolen in her life, she comes from a good family, she has perfect, straight teeth. Everything about her should annoy and piss Touka off. But much like Yoriko, she finds herself charmed by the other girl, and getting caught up in her orbit. Even Ayato can’t bring himself to hate her when they meet in the cafe one day. He starts hanging around more often, and befriends her.

 

xxx

 

“Never expected you to get a nice girlfriend like that,” Nishio says one day, and Touka almost pours coffee on a patron’s lap as she eavesdrops.

“Who?” Sasaki asks, and he sounds distracted as he reads one of his horror novels. Touka wonders if Hinami knows this side of him that loses himself so easily in fiction.  

“That Hinami girl everyone seems to like,” Nishio says, “Your girlfriend?”

Sasaki sighs, “Not you guys too! Hm, should I be thankful you think I could be dating her rather than adopting her?”

“Why the hell would you be adopting her?”

“It’s a um long story,” Sasaki settles on saying. But, Touka thinks she understands.

“So, she’s not your girlfriend?” Nishio asks, and then looks at her and fucking smirks when Sasaki says “No.”

 

xxx

 

There are other servers besides her and Nishio, all people that the old man saved and is offering protection to. There are more customers than Sasaki and his family as well. The cafe is quiet and slow most days, enough that she can do her homework between tables. Enough that she takes breaks, and spends time talking with Yomo, Nishio, Kaya, and Koma depending on who she’s on shift with.

She was clumsy at first (still is when distracted) but she’s gotten better with all of their help. Nishio came after her, but still picked up the skills faster it seems, and she hates him for that. She especially hates it when he pushes the issue of her with Sasaki. It’s an impossibility, a dream she thinks about sometimes at night but never seriously, never for long.

Instead she dreams about other things, about having a place to call her own. She has the apartment that she shares with Ayato (or used to before Aogiri Tree got him a nicer one), and she has Anteikou--or sort of has it. She wants her own cafe, her own shop to run. And so that’s what she does in university. She studies hard so that in the future she can manage a business all of her own. She wants to see the smiles on her customers’ faces.

“That’s a beautiful dream,” Yoriko says. “That’s why I want to be a chef!”

Yoriko spends the night sometimes. They talk between their mutual studying, and then they watch movies, and hang out, and sometimes they cook dinner together. Yoriko is her best friend and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

She feels strong in that, and in her dream. She just can’t afford the pain that tangling herself up with Sasaki would bring, and so sets aside her crush on him for a teenager’s whims, and contents herself with being his friend. Her life is better this way, she finds.

It works, by all the heaven’s above it works, until the day Tsukiyama Shuu starts hanging around. She’s thrust front row into the most bizarre courtship she’s ever seen. She’s drawn into arguments once they start not-dating because Tsukiyama is a freak, and somehow can tell that she used to like Sasaki. She might give Sasaki Valentine’s candy, but that’s only because it’d be weird not to when she gives them to the other men whom she calls a friend. Hinami likes Tsukiyama, despiste Touka trying to make her see the light. Yoriko would probably like Tsukiyama as well, she’s so easy sometimes.

Ayato tries to like Tsukiyama for Hinami’s sake, but her brother and him clash like water and fire, and Sasaki just doesn’t care. He ignores Tsukiyama and all her complaints against him with a shrug and a “He is an adult, have you tried talking to him?” But Sasaki and Tsukiyama don’t talk. Their entire relationship seems based on Sasaki repeatedly saying “No” until he gives in, and then next Touka hears, he’s said yes and done whatever Tsukiyama suggested. It’s not healthy, and for fuck’s sake if Touka can notice that, Sasaki should be able to.

She bites her tongue for a couple of years because it’s none of her business.

She has better things to do than concern herself with Sasaki’s love life.

 

xxx

 

Her father dies, and that’s unexpected, and it hurts and that’s even more unexpected. She thought that he would exist forever in the inconsistent way he does, but she thought wrong. Ayato doesn’t cry at the funeral, and she barely does. That’s when the old man offers her a home for the first time. She turns it down.

Everyone from the cafe attends even though they didn’t know her dad from a stranger. They make her feel safe, like they’re an extended part of her family.

Yoriko kisses her forehead, and tells her she’s not alone, and she clings to her best friend until she stops crying.

 

xxx

 

“An editor?” Touka asks, and Hinami nods. They’ve just graduated from university, and they have so many options available to them now. Touka’s still working at Anteikou, and she’s not sure when or why she should stop. She makes decent money here, is building capital to open up her own shop.

“I want to be a literary editor. You know Nagachika-san?”

“Sasaki’s editor right? Hide or whatever.” He’s a dyed blond that often can be seen hunched over with Sasaki while both suggest changes and adjustments to stories. Touka tolerates him, if only because he flirts with her sometimes, and she finds that hilarious.

“Yes! He said he can look into me possibly working with his company in the future,” Hinami smiles, “It could be fun. They publish so many writers that I like.”

Touka sits down, and pours herself a cup of coffee despite Nishio walking past and calling her a slacker. “Tell me more.”

They talk about their dreams and the future, and Hinami dreams big, but realistically.

“Don’t you have any books you want to write?” Touka asks at one point, and Hinami smiles at her.

“Doesn’t everybody?”

And Touka has to consider that, seriously question that about herself.

 

xxx

 

“If you wrote a book, what would it be about?” she asks Yoriko as they’re painting each other’s nails after dinner. Yoriko considers that seriously.

“A love story. Like one of those slow moving ones that leave you aching at the end of it. What about you, Touka?”

“A tragedy,” Touka says instantly, “It’d be a fucking tragedy.”

“Oh no,” Yoriko shakes her head, “Touka, yours would be something nicer than that. You’re too good to end up a tragedy.”

“I’m not good.”

“But you are,” Yoriko says quietly, “You always have been.”

Touka considers that, and considers Yoriko for a long moment. “Pass me the blue. I think we should do a starry night for your toes.”

 

xxx

 

She’s taking a slow route through life, still working at Anteikou, unsure when she should quit and start her own place. She loves Anteikou.

Touka doesn’t have romantic aspirations, having hung those up long ago, and when she tells Yomo this much, he nods in understanding.

“Try dating a bit,” Nishio says unhelpfully in the manner that people in relationships take sometimes. They’re closed down and cleaning and she wishes she was scheduled to close with anyone but him. She scoffs at him, and looks underneath a table.

“Yes, sure, lemme just ask my thousands of suitors. Not everyone can be as lucky as you, asshole.”

“True. I am pretty lucky!” Nishio thankfully doesn’t go on a rant about his too good for him girlfriend. “Haise’s taken, and he’s about the only guy you ever took an interest in.”

“Sasaki’s not taken,” Touka corrects him, and then sighs. It’s true, and untrue, and either way, “I don’t like Sasaki.” _Not anymore_ , she adds silently.

 

xxx

 

She decides, in April of 2007, when Sasaki hands her a signed copy of _The Dusk of Tanaka Taro_ that she’s going to become the owner of her own cafe as soon as possible. The old man, when he hears this, simply tells her to wait.

“I’ll give you Anteikou when I retire,” he says, “I’m getting older anyway. It could use fresh blood.”

So that’s how Touka finds herself as the manager of a cafe that’s been promised to her.

 

xxx

 

She doesn’t make any changes yet, taking it slow as she tries to figure out what she wants from her cafe. She’s trying to figure out a lot of things, about herself, and her life, but she figures she has plenty of time, as long as she sticks to the slow life and doesn’t try to rush ahead.

She tries to keep the stress in her life small, and so far, the main pressure comes from Tsukiyama and Sasaki’s not relationship and her brother’s career as a model.

Touka contents herself with ignoring them, and contents herself with living her life as she knows how to best to suit her.

When she tells Yoriko this, the other woman smiles at her, squeezes her hands, and kisses her forehead.

“I know you can do whatever you want, Touka.”

And Touka lets herself believe her.

  



End file.
